Given that it was just Valentine’s Day and I did not even get a verbal "Happy Valentine’s Day" from my husband (I can hear you all GASP as you read that...don’t worry, I have come to expect it after almost 9 years of marriage..or is it 10), I figured what better time than now to drop some reality bombs.
I get comments ALL the time about “you and Aaron are so cute,” “you guys are the perfect couple,” “I wish my husband and I were more like you two….” and I just laugh and say, we are FAR (and I mean FAR) from perfect.
Let’s be honest here folks, we have had our (and still have) our ups and downs. We have been through couples therapy and there are still days I ask myself “What the hell was I thinking when I said yes?” Don’t worry, I know he has those days too, I am sure we all do at some point, we are human, however some of us just don't like to admit it. There are days where I want nothing to do with him because he spoke to me in the wrong tone or I feel like he is being mean for no reason so I want to punch him in the nuts (yep, you read that right)…but do I post it all over social media? No. Most people don’t because no one needs to read about your dirty laundry all over their newsfeed. No one wants to know that you and your spouse just screamed at each other for 30 minutes because your kid had a meltdown over homework that stressed you both out or someone left dishes in the sink when the dishwasher was clearly dirty and waiting to be filled or they parented in a way that you don’t agree with...
But there are also times I remember why we got married like when he makes me laugh so hard I can’t get through a workout, when he is being goofy with the kids or when I listen to him singing in the car on the way home from one of our random date nights (one of the main reasons we even started talking at Harpo’s Karaoke for those who don’t know). Or when he leaves an appointment to bring our son clean clothes 30 minutes from our house after he vomited all over himself in my car on the way to the Dr and he also is smart enough to bring all of the stuff to clean my car up in the parking lot of St Luke’s.
We have to work HARD to make things work sometimes. Marriage is not easy. Raising kids is not easy. Adulting is not easy.
So to all of you who are scrolling Facebook thinking, “Gosh, I wish my husband got me that for Valentine's” or “I wish my marriage/relationship was more like theirs…” STOP. Stop right now. The grass is going to be greener where YOU water it.
So here is to all of the couples on this Valentine’s Day that aren’t perfect. The ones that know the struggle of marriage is real but still choose to find the positive when there can be so much negative in our world. The ones that know that while you may not always be happy with each other (or speaking to one another), you are still there and that, in and of itself speaks volumes.