Yesterday I woke up with Karen loud & clear in my ear. “Who the fuck do you think you are, what makes you think you deserve to walk across that stage again?”
And it is ironic because yesterday I told my girls in our bootcamp that thoughts create feelings, I truly KNOW & believe that - I’ve used that thought work to create confidence & belief in myself on my health & fitness journey YET when it comes to my business, I allowed all the shitty thoughts to hold me back over these last few years.
In an effort to avoid the truth, I tried to tell myself, the business doesn’t work, when in reality, I 100% know that is a HUGE lie, it was not the business. It was me. I was not doing the work. My team grew in 2016, then when shit got hard, when our team team was back down to just me (& trust me, there is no I in team)…instead of using that to grow & move forward, I did what the old me did best, I reverted to doing nothing. I lost belief in myself. I stopped doing the work. I showed up to ensure my girls in my group were not ever left without a coach & to keep myself accountable to my own health & fitness goals but I stopped believing in my ability to help more people or to grow my team. But I never stopped believing in this companies mission. Or the workout programs. Or the products. I stopped believing in ME.
And you know what happens when we constantly tell ourselves something? i.e. I can’t do this. I am not enough. I am not a leader. Why do I think I can be successful? You can’t keep showing up after failures, what will people think?! I MADE THAT SHIT HAPPEN. I created EXACTLY that for myself & my business. I manifested my own damn reality around my business…or lack thereof.
I was so afraid of people judging me for trying over & over again until I got it right that I stopped trying at all. I was so afraid of potentially failing again, that I did nothing. I started to think, who is even listening anymore, what I have to say does not matter. So I made myself small again, like the girl I was BEFORE this business changed my life.
I went back to Ashley 1.0….I. STOPPED. GROWING.
But I am firm believer in everything happening for a reason. I needed to go through that rough season, I needed to go back to work in an office to see that is not where I belong. It was meant to be that my position was eliminated & I was let go. It is a HUGE BIG FLASHING NEON SIGN right in front of my face that our Coach Summit is coming to St Louis in 2021. #covidmoveover
Now that I am back to doing “coach life” on the daily, focusing on this as my job, not my hobby…I am starting feel like ME again. I am diving into work on self confidence. I am learning how to improve my leadership skills. And I have never been more optimistic about changing lives than I am RIGHT now.
I am here for it. I am ready to get out of my own fucking way, to do the work to represent this team up on stage (again) at Summit, with a tribe of badasses representing Elite Nation (hopefully also up on stage), with me, in STL.
“I will bet on you every fucking time. You don’t need to convince me. You just need to follow through.” That is what Aaron said to me the other day when we were talking about me working my coaching business & also continuing to pay for self coaching scholars each month so I can focus on personal growth.
Throughout all of this, he has never stopped believing in me or this business. Now it is my turn to believe in me, show up & follow through.
My message to you: Just because you don’t see your own potential in something, does not mean it is not there. You were made to achieve great things in this life…you just have to open up your mind & believe it. None of us were put here for mediocrity, yet that is where MOST people stay. It is 100% up to us to make more happen for ourselves. If you have tried & failed, that does not make you a failure, pick your ass back up & keep going. I believe in you.
